If heaven could be the time and the place in your lifetime where you have been the happiest, I would die and wake up in that tiny room of that house that doesn't even exist anymore. That bed too small even for one where you and I used to lie intertwined in each other. The kisses that would last forever or at least as long as entire songs. Where laughter was easy and the tears came from realizing that what we were feeling was so much love it was too much to bear without breaking down from gratitude or the fear of losing it all.
I can still remember those afternoons, when I found excuses to leave my house, only to come to that room to be with you. Those few hours lasted so long, seeing you for a couple of days a weeks filled my heart to the brim. Nothing else mattered in those moments. The world outside did not exist for two lovers, children at best, locked in the last embraces of love.
Before all the darkness, before all the pain would engulf you. And then come for me as well.
I miss you so much. I don't have anything that reminds me of you. I destroyed everything in a fit of rage, not knowing that one day I would give anything to just have one of those letters, a small trinket, anything that reminds me of you, of us. I would give anything to touch you again, your "revenge of the nerds" haircut, your geeky glasses... for me you were the most beautiful boy I had ever set my eyes on. I don't even know when and where I lost you, when love ceased to be enough, how the outside world crept into that room and blew everything to smithereens. Maybe when that house was demolished, we left our souls there, still entangled in each other, while we went about the world being grown ups, having grown up problems, never knowing love like that again.
I'd give anything to be in that room again, with you. Lie in that bed and bury my face in your arms. This time I will never ever look at the clock or say that I have to leave. This will always be my happiest place. A place that does not even exist anymore except in my memories.
I can still remember those afternoons, when I found excuses to leave my house, only to come to that room to be with you. Those few hours lasted so long, seeing you for a couple of days a weeks filled my heart to the brim. Nothing else mattered in those moments. The world outside did not exist for two lovers, children at best, locked in the last embraces of love.
Before all the darkness, before all the pain would engulf you. And then come for me as well.
I miss you so much. I don't have anything that reminds me of you. I destroyed everything in a fit of rage, not knowing that one day I would give anything to just have one of those letters, a small trinket, anything that reminds me of you, of us. I would give anything to touch you again, your "revenge of the nerds" haircut, your geeky glasses... for me you were the most beautiful boy I had ever set my eyes on. I don't even know when and where I lost you, when love ceased to be enough, how the outside world crept into that room and blew everything to smithereens. Maybe when that house was demolished, we left our souls there, still entangled in each other, while we went about the world being grown ups, having grown up problems, never knowing love like that again.
I'd give anything to be in that room again, with you. Lie in that bed and bury my face in your arms. This time I will never ever look at the clock or say that I have to leave. This will always be my happiest place. A place that does not even exist anymore except in my memories.
No comments:
Post a Comment